I really hope Meghan and Harry are recreating the Middleton/Wales family lifestyle for their children, then we can live in hope that Archie and Lili will be grounded human beings with a firm family base to set out in life from. Nobody wants to see them grow up as traumatised as Harry.
Sadly, I don’t think Harry and Meghan can fake it til they make it through this one. The Wales children (and frankly William himself) will turn out ok because Kate is a strong, grounded person who is rooted in a strong sense of self worth because of her stable childhood. Neither Harry nor Meghan have that background. Until they do enormous adult work to overcome their childhood wounds (neither of whom seem to have begun) they can’t possibly provide that type of upbringing for their children. They should stop chasing fame and fortune and work on themselves. I think if they did that, the fame and fortune might follow.
Much as I liked and felt empathy for Diana, she was never a foodie, never one for home ec. She was a great mother in other ways though, introducing William and Harry to ordinary things like McDs and theme parks and just plain fun. Still, I don't think either William and Harry have ever spoken of wonderful family meals as children. And once Charles and Diana divorced, they spent little time with their mother because of boarding school and such. Paul Burrell, who has really milked his butler time with Diana, has a new interview out this week with Marie Claire which paints a picture of a mother who "drifted away" from her sons. So sad.
Thus I think both men would appreciate the home life that their wives are providing. Oh golly I sound like Suzy Homemaker or some 50s housewife! What I mean to say is that food and celebrations are vital to a happy home life. I think the cutest videos of William are when he's trying to learn something in the kitchen. The Mary Berry Christmas special with the roulade still makes me laugh. There isn't much with Harry in the kitchen although he did say he makes breakfast.
I agree, regardless of their foibles, I certainly wish Meghan and Harry a happier family life than they both had. I don't think I need to worry about William, right from the beginning of his relationship with Kate he was wrapped in the Middleton's home life.
I can relate a lot to Meghan’s upbringing in the sense my mom was not very domestic. I did have great birthday parties, but my mom wasn’t into cooking, so dinner was often frozen prepackaged meals or takeout. As a child I had the impression “normal” families all had a home cooked dinner every night around the dinner table. I am the same age as Kate and Meghan, and from my adult perspective, I see now that by the 90s, many women worked outside the home and my home life was just as typical as my fantastical image of traditional dinner time. As a working parent now, I give myself loads of grace for not always cooking, but I do try to cook more and have sit down dinners as a family more than my parents did. I want my kids to feel like they are “normal.”
I saw all this because I can relate to why Meghan wants to come off as a domestic queen. She is trying to compensate for an insecurity. As ever (pun intended) Meghan needs to deal with her childhood wounds that have somehow wounded her psyche to the point that she does not feel remotely comfortable with herself. Instead, she is constantly playing a part, which, when your brand is yourself (rather than say a role on a TV show), not knowing what that is will sink you. She will never be successful as Meghan The Brand until she becomes comfortable with Meghan The Person. She hasn’t done that, and all but the most ardent fans can feel it in our bones when we watch her. It’s half pathetic, half insulting that she continues to try to force these concocted versions of herself on the world and when the world doesn’t respond, she screams prejudice in some form or another.
"She will never be successful as Meghan The Brand until she becomes comfortable with Meghan The Person. She hasn’t done that, and all but the most ardent fans can feel it in our bones when we watch her."
Bingo. This nails it and only her diehard "Sugars" continue to defend her and criticize Kate. Just a bit of digging would reveal that Kate had been baking, beekeeping, and more long before Meghan even came into the purview of the Royal Family.
Some of what her fans say online is just typical of online discourse - changing facts to fit a narrative. But I can’t help but wonder if the reason her fans seem to shift their positions day to day is due to Meghan’s ever shifting personal narrative and brand identity. For YEARS it was shoved down the public’s collective throat that Meghan wasn’t boring like Kate. She was different. She had a career and was modern to Kate’s “boring” life in the country. And now? Apparently we are to believe Meghan invented domesticity and Kate copied it? It never makes sense.
So insightful! I grew up with a mom who worked full-time but also cooked so that we had homemade meals every single night for dinner. I loved when we very occasionally order Chinese takeout. What a treat! When I had kids and also worked full-time, I, too, gave myself grace because it’s a lot to do. I appreciated that my support network also gave me grace so that I could be confident as mom.
Someone told me and it stuck with me that for kids, normal is whatever they experience growing up as long as they feel loved. So, while it’s sad that the Sussex kids aren’t growing up with all their cousins, that is becoming their normal. It’s actually Harry that is mourning what they don’t have.
Meghan constantly reinventing herself and essentially taking on aspects of peoples' personality and hobbies continues to be a source of fascination for me that's all I'll say.
Even the “foodie” person seemed to just be something that was quite a millennial thing when IG was new and it was en vogue to share photos of your plate at restaurants.
Yes. Global ambassador, like Angelina Jolie. Domestic goddess, like Gwyneth. Hollywood big shot like Oprah. "Founder" like the Silicon Valley people. And obviously, "people's princess," like Diana. It is a little sad that her own sense of self is absent, and for whatever reason, the rejection from Kate to be besties made the whole situation very toxic. This post is very generous, hoping that Meghan can somehow evolve and become a great parent and create a stable and loving home. Maybe she is trying. But chasing her delusions of grandeur almost precludes it.
Meghan’s backstory seems to shift depending on who she’s chatting to, doesn’t it? Before she ever met Harry, she wrote about and gave many interviews referencing her dad being the hands-on type…taking her out to posh restaurants after dance class, picking her up from school and her spending all her time with him on Married with Children set—apparently that’s where the acting spark lit up.
When she was a guest judge on Kids’ MasterChef, she waxed lyrical about how some dish reminded her of “farm-to-table” grub from her childhood. Sounds rather idyllic, doesn’t it?
But fast forward a few years, and suddenly it’s all about growing up skint, Sizzler nights being a real treat, and living off TV dinners as a latchkey kid. It’s quite the transformation.
Makes you wonder what version of her childhood we’ll be served in a few years’s time. Feels a bit like she’s trying to recreate something she saw in Kate, who’s got a solid, close-knit family that’s being passed down to her kids, no fuss. Whereas Meghan and Harry’s little ones… well, they’ve got their gran, sure, but where are the cousins, the grandparents, the bigger family circle? That absence—that’s on Harry and Meghan, really.
No amount of artisanal flower sprinkles can make up for a lack of familial relationships and support.
100%. Before Harry it was dad treating her to Musso & Frank’s after every Jazz/tap/ballet lesson; sushi Friday’s with both parents (“the briney flavors” “dad drank his plum wine.). Mom made sushi rolls for her lunch box. Farm to table meals by mom.
Post Harry - All we could afford was the all you can eat salad bar at The Sizzler…took her first job at 13 in a yogurt shop to make ends meet. 🙄.
Question - Would anyone hire a 13 yo? I couldn’t get anything outside of mowing lawns and babysitting until 15. I wasn’t poor, just ambitious! ☺️
Anyone ever notice we know hardly anything about the Middletons outside of what is reported occasionally from third party sources? Kate, Pippa and James have said very little about how they were treated as children, traditions they had, what their childhood was like. Yet Meghan has talked at length many times both before and after she met Harry. I always think the lady doth protest too much on everything when it comes to Meghan.
Well written, Jane. Your points reminded me of Harry's comments about Meghan's first Christmas spent at Anmer Hall & Sandringham after they were engaged. He said in an interview with the BBC: “The family loved having her there. There’s always that family part of Christmas [where] there’s always that work element there as well, and I think together we had an amazing time. We had great fun staying with my brother and sister-in-law and running round with the kids. Christmas was fantastic.”
The presenter asked the prince if there were any family traditions that had to be explained to Markle. He said: “Oh plenty, I think we’ve got one of the biggest families that I know of, and every family is complex as well. No look, she’s done an absolutely amazing job. She’s getting in there and it’s the family I suppose that she’s never had.”
I'm sure Middleton Christmases were as magical and special as their birthday celebrations and Kate must bring some of that to her children's holidays too. Meghan got a front row seat to that as well and she must have shared with Harry how different her childhood was given his comment about "the family I suppose that she's never had."
That is such an interesting comment Laverne, that coincides with a podcast I listened to only yesterday. I’m a history buff and an English historian, David Runciman, has a series called “The History of Bad Ideas.” I listened to the one on “Identity” with a philosopher Alexander Douglas. Douglas says that there’s a conundrum in modern society around being “authentic” and having our own “identity” but still cobbling together the way we present ourselves, the way we act, from other’s examples. What I took out of that conversation was exactly how you phrased your response: we all copy lives and traditions to build our own lives. There’s nothing inauthentic about that unless we choose to deny it or deny that we admire it. I find it difficult when people don’t acknowledge their admiration of others and why they admire them. When they present themselves as something so VERY unique. Sure, we’re all unique in that we’ve put our own twist (hopefully, hopefully we haven’t copied people whole cloth) on the way we do things but there’s no harm in expressing admiration for people who’ve influenced us. Or giving them the credit when we use their ideas.
Those of us that have long followed the Middleton family - KNOW. They must have all been shaking their heads watching Meghan's show. To me, from the bee keeping to the homemade jam to the party planning - it is such a Kate copy cat that it's a little creepy/unnerving. I've had someone imitate my life so completely before and it really is unsettling. I'm sure they all view Meghan in that same way. We know she was with Kate for Christmas one year - my guess is that's when it all started in a serious way.
I like both Kate and Meghan, for different reasons. I particularly love style watching both of them. Their styles are mostly out of my reach but I love getting ideas from both.
I think Meghan’s been on that drive before meeting Kate, Jessica Mulroney was probably the first prototype and as you say, who can really blame her. She definitely did manifest (& work hard behind the scenes) her ideal life. I think her brand & show mostly appeals to other women looking to do the same thing, perhaps replicating what they see as a nicer way of life than the one they have? If only she was a bit more upfront and honest about it it would feel more authentic and less Talented Mr Ripley
I think when you're someone who is constantly using words like "authentic" it means you're living a rather inauthentic life. What I like about the Wales family is that they're just doing their thing. Take it or leave it. They're not talking about doing their things, they're out there doing it.
When my children were small I would take the day off from work to prepare their elaborate iced cakes, always in the shape and color or their favorite character at the time. So yes, it does take many hours for a non professional to produce a “professional” and fun cake!
This seems a little unfair. You don’t need to have grown up with homemade meals, crafty party favors, or bees in order to be interested in those yourself as an adult. None of these are out of norm - in fact, they’re downright on trend. Meghan seems to have a genuine interest in all of those, and homemaking/cooking in general. Two women in one family can still be interested in the same things without copying each other.
I can't help chuckling at what Meghan's face would look like if she read this post. She'd have a blue fit that anyone thinks all her brilliant ideas weren't entirely original and (gasp!) she had been inspired by her nemesis. 😂
If the persistent rumor that Meghan's mother Doria was "not present" for a substantial number of years while she was growing up is true, I can only imagine that Meghan is exhausted from the years and years of tap dancing she has done to hide the less savory details of her upbringing. (Personally, I hesitate to endorse these rumors as it seems like they would be too easily proven, if true, and equally easy to disprove if false.) It may be your everyday ordinary broken family scenario where everyone does whatever necessary to get along with life, but it's always seemed like there's a lot of fishy stuff that she's trying desperately to cover up. I do wish she'd pick a back story and stick with it, because she sounds like a fool at this point.
I agree with Jane's post. However, I would like to add a nuance: it seems to me that all 3 children attended boarding schools; this in no way detracts from the fact that Carole was able to organize wonderful parties for these children, but a large part of their childhood was spent at school rather than at home.
Like Meghan, I wasn't lucky enough to grow up in this kind of family. I bought Pippa's book when it came out, and I love finding ideas for celebrations in it. I can understand wanting to draw inspiration from the Middletons for this aspect of their lives. I'm more circumspect about making a business out of it.
I really hope Meghan and Harry are recreating the Middleton/Wales family lifestyle for their children, then we can live in hope that Archie and Lili will be grounded human beings with a firm family base to set out in life from. Nobody wants to see them grow up as traumatised as Harry.
Sadly, I don’t think Harry and Meghan can fake it til they make it through this one. The Wales children (and frankly William himself) will turn out ok because Kate is a strong, grounded person who is rooted in a strong sense of self worth because of her stable childhood. Neither Harry nor Meghan have that background. Until they do enormous adult work to overcome their childhood wounds (neither of whom seem to have begun) they can’t possibly provide that type of upbringing for their children. They should stop chasing fame and fortune and work on themselves. I think if they did that, the fame and fortune might follow.
Much as I liked and felt empathy for Diana, she was never a foodie, never one for home ec. She was a great mother in other ways though, introducing William and Harry to ordinary things like McDs and theme parks and just plain fun. Still, I don't think either William and Harry have ever spoken of wonderful family meals as children. And once Charles and Diana divorced, they spent little time with their mother because of boarding school and such. Paul Burrell, who has really milked his butler time with Diana, has a new interview out this week with Marie Claire which paints a picture of a mother who "drifted away" from her sons. So sad.
Thus I think both men would appreciate the home life that their wives are providing. Oh golly I sound like Suzy Homemaker or some 50s housewife! What I mean to say is that food and celebrations are vital to a happy home life. I think the cutest videos of William are when he's trying to learn something in the kitchen. The Mary Berry Christmas special with the roulade still makes me laugh. There isn't much with Harry in the kitchen although he did say he makes breakfast.
I agree, regardless of their foibles, I certainly wish Meghan and Harry a happier family life than they both had. I don't think I need to worry about William, right from the beginning of his relationship with Kate he was wrapped in the Middleton's home life.
I can relate a lot to Meghan’s upbringing in the sense my mom was not very domestic. I did have great birthday parties, but my mom wasn’t into cooking, so dinner was often frozen prepackaged meals or takeout. As a child I had the impression “normal” families all had a home cooked dinner every night around the dinner table. I am the same age as Kate and Meghan, and from my adult perspective, I see now that by the 90s, many women worked outside the home and my home life was just as typical as my fantastical image of traditional dinner time. As a working parent now, I give myself loads of grace for not always cooking, but I do try to cook more and have sit down dinners as a family more than my parents did. I want my kids to feel like they are “normal.”
I saw all this because I can relate to why Meghan wants to come off as a domestic queen. She is trying to compensate for an insecurity. As ever (pun intended) Meghan needs to deal with her childhood wounds that have somehow wounded her psyche to the point that she does not feel remotely comfortable with herself. Instead, she is constantly playing a part, which, when your brand is yourself (rather than say a role on a TV show), not knowing what that is will sink you. She will never be successful as Meghan The Brand until she becomes comfortable with Meghan The Person. She hasn’t done that, and all but the most ardent fans can feel it in our bones when we watch her. It’s half pathetic, half insulting that she continues to try to force these concocted versions of herself on the world and when the world doesn’t respond, she screams prejudice in some form or another.
"She will never be successful as Meghan The Brand until she becomes comfortable with Meghan The Person. She hasn’t done that, and all but the most ardent fans can feel it in our bones when we watch her."
Bingo. This nails it and only her diehard "Sugars" continue to defend her and criticize Kate. Just a bit of digging would reveal that Kate had been baking, beekeeping, and more long before Meghan even came into the purview of the Royal Family.
Some of what her fans say online is just typical of online discourse - changing facts to fit a narrative. But I can’t help but wonder if the reason her fans seem to shift their positions day to day is due to Meghan’s ever shifting personal narrative and brand identity. For YEARS it was shoved down the public’s collective throat that Meghan wasn’t boring like Kate. She was different. She had a career and was modern to Kate’s “boring” life in the country. And now? Apparently we are to believe Meghan invented domesticity and Kate copied it? It never makes sense.
So insightful! I grew up with a mom who worked full-time but also cooked so that we had homemade meals every single night for dinner. I loved when we very occasionally order Chinese takeout. What a treat! When I had kids and also worked full-time, I, too, gave myself grace because it’s a lot to do. I appreciated that my support network also gave me grace so that I could be confident as mom.
Someone told me and it stuck with me that for kids, normal is whatever they experience growing up as long as they feel loved. So, while it’s sad that the Sussex kids aren’t growing up with all their cousins, that is becoming their normal. It’s actually Harry that is mourning what they don’t have.
Meghan constantly reinventing herself and essentially taking on aspects of peoples' personality and hobbies continues to be a source of fascination for me that's all I'll say.
Even the “foodie” person seemed to just be something that was quite a millennial thing when IG was new and it was en vogue to share photos of your plate at restaurants.
Yes. Global ambassador, like Angelina Jolie. Domestic goddess, like Gwyneth. Hollywood big shot like Oprah. "Founder" like the Silicon Valley people. And obviously, "people's princess," like Diana. It is a little sad that her own sense of self is absent, and for whatever reason, the rejection from Kate to be besties made the whole situation very toxic. This post is very generous, hoping that Meghan can somehow evolve and become a great parent and create a stable and loving home. Maybe she is trying. But chasing her delusions of grandeur almost precludes it.
Meghan’s backstory seems to shift depending on who she’s chatting to, doesn’t it? Before she ever met Harry, she wrote about and gave many interviews referencing her dad being the hands-on type…taking her out to posh restaurants after dance class, picking her up from school and her spending all her time with him on Married with Children set—apparently that’s where the acting spark lit up.
When she was a guest judge on Kids’ MasterChef, she waxed lyrical about how some dish reminded her of “farm-to-table” grub from her childhood. Sounds rather idyllic, doesn’t it?
But fast forward a few years, and suddenly it’s all about growing up skint, Sizzler nights being a real treat, and living off TV dinners as a latchkey kid. It’s quite the transformation.
Makes you wonder what version of her childhood we’ll be served in a few years’s time. Feels a bit like she’s trying to recreate something she saw in Kate, who’s got a solid, close-knit family that’s being passed down to her kids, no fuss. Whereas Meghan and Harry’s little ones… well, they’ve got their gran, sure, but where are the cousins, the grandparents, the bigger family circle? That absence—that’s on Harry and Meghan, really.
No amount of artisanal flower sprinkles can make up for a lack of familial relationships and support.
100%. Before Harry it was dad treating her to Musso & Frank’s after every Jazz/tap/ballet lesson; sushi Friday’s with both parents (“the briney flavors” “dad drank his plum wine.). Mom made sushi rolls for her lunch box. Farm to table meals by mom.
Post Harry - All we could afford was the all you can eat salad bar at The Sizzler…took her first job at 13 in a yogurt shop to make ends meet. 🙄.
Question - Would anyone hire a 13 yo? I couldn’t get anything outside of mowing lawns and babysitting until 15. I wasn’t poor, just ambitious! ☺️
According to Meghan, Lili and Archie take their turns at the farmer's market....
🤣🤣🤣
Anyone ever notice we know hardly anything about the Middletons outside of what is reported occasionally from third party sources? Kate, Pippa and James have said very little about how they were treated as children, traditions they had, what their childhood was like. Yet Meghan has talked at length many times both before and after she met Harry. I always think the lady doth protest too much on everything when it comes to Meghan.
This is so true!
You're absolutely right about all of it! Thank you for putting it so clearly!
Well written, Jane. Your points reminded me of Harry's comments about Meghan's first Christmas spent at Anmer Hall & Sandringham after they were engaged. He said in an interview with the BBC: “The family loved having her there. There’s always that family part of Christmas [where] there’s always that work element there as well, and I think together we had an amazing time. We had great fun staying with my brother and sister-in-law and running round with the kids. Christmas was fantastic.”
The presenter asked the prince if there were any family traditions that had to be explained to Markle. He said: “Oh plenty, I think we’ve got one of the biggest families that I know of, and every family is complex as well. No look, she’s done an absolutely amazing job. She’s getting in there and it’s the family I suppose that she’s never had.”
I'm sure Middleton Christmases were as magical and special as their birthday celebrations and Kate must bring some of that to her children's holidays too. Meghan got a front row seat to that as well and she must have shared with Harry how different her childhood was given his comment about "the family I suppose that she's never had."
So well said. M should be authentic about choosing to copy a way of life and traditions she admires. There is nothing wrong with doing this.
That is such an interesting comment Laverne, that coincides with a podcast I listened to only yesterday. I’m a history buff and an English historian, David Runciman, has a series called “The History of Bad Ideas.” I listened to the one on “Identity” with a philosopher Alexander Douglas. Douglas says that there’s a conundrum in modern society around being “authentic” and having our own “identity” but still cobbling together the way we present ourselves, the way we act, from other’s examples. What I took out of that conversation was exactly how you phrased your response: we all copy lives and traditions to build our own lives. There’s nothing inauthentic about that unless we choose to deny it or deny that we admire it. I find it difficult when people don’t acknowledge their admiration of others and why they admire them. When they present themselves as something so VERY unique. Sure, we’re all unique in that we’ve put our own twist (hopefully, hopefully we haven’t copied people whole cloth) on the way we do things but there’s no harm in expressing admiration for people who’ve influenced us. Or giving them the credit when we use their ideas.
Those of us that have long followed the Middleton family - KNOW. They must have all been shaking their heads watching Meghan's show. To me, from the bee keeping to the homemade jam to the party planning - it is such a Kate copy cat that it's a little creepy/unnerving. I've had someone imitate my life so completely before and it really is unsettling. I'm sure they all view Meghan in that same way. We know she was with Kate for Christmas one year - my guess is that's when it all started in a serious way.
I like both Kate and Meghan, for different reasons. I particularly love style watching both of them. Their styles are mostly out of my reach but I love getting ideas from both.
The whole copying Meghan thing is so absurd. Especially with clothes. They have nothing in common.
I think Meghan’s been on that drive before meeting Kate, Jessica Mulroney was probably the first prototype and as you say, who can really blame her. She definitely did manifest (& work hard behind the scenes) her ideal life. I think her brand & show mostly appeals to other women looking to do the same thing, perhaps replicating what they see as a nicer way of life than the one they have? If only she was a bit more upfront and honest about it it would feel more authentic and less Talented Mr Ripley
I think when you're someone who is constantly using words like "authentic" it means you're living a rather inauthentic life. What I like about the Wales family is that they're just doing their thing. Take it or leave it. They're not talking about doing their things, they're out there doing it.
When my children were small I would take the day off from work to prepare their elaborate iced cakes, always in the shape and color or their favorite character at the time. So yes, it does take many hours for a non professional to produce a “professional” and fun cake!
This seems a little unfair. You don’t need to have grown up with homemade meals, crafty party favors, or bees in order to be interested in those yourself as an adult. None of these are out of norm - in fact, they’re downright on trend. Meghan seems to have a genuine interest in all of those, and homemaking/cooking in general. Two women in one family can still be interested in the same things without copying each other.
I can't help chuckling at what Meghan's face would look like if she read this post. She'd have a blue fit that anyone thinks all her brilliant ideas weren't entirely original and (gasp!) she had been inspired by her nemesis. 😂
If the persistent rumor that Meghan's mother Doria was "not present" for a substantial number of years while she was growing up is true, I can only imagine that Meghan is exhausted from the years and years of tap dancing she has done to hide the less savory details of her upbringing. (Personally, I hesitate to endorse these rumors as it seems like they would be too easily proven, if true, and equally easy to disprove if false.) It may be your everyday ordinary broken family scenario where everyone does whatever necessary to get along with life, but it's always seemed like there's a lot of fishy stuff that she's trying desperately to cover up. I do wish she'd pick a back story and stick with it, because she sounds like a fool at this point.
I agree with Jane's post. However, I would like to add a nuance: it seems to me that all 3 children attended boarding schools; this in no way detracts from the fact that Carole was able to organize wonderful parties for these children, but a large part of their childhood was spent at school rather than at home.
Like Meghan, I wasn't lucky enough to grow up in this kind of family. I bought Pippa's book when it came out, and I love finding ideas for celebrations in it. I can understand wanting to draw inspiration from the Middletons for this aspect of their lives. I'm more circumspect about making a business out of it.